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# Eight Years With MomMom: How a Stranger Became My Greatest Gift
- URL: https://www.adoptingfatherhood.com/eight-years-with-mommom-how-a-stranger-became-my-greatest-gift/
- Published: 2026-08-21T18:49:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-08-29T18:50:13.000Z
- Author: David Lingholm
- Tags: My Adoption Story

Perhaps the biggest blessing of finding my birth father's family was finding out my grandmother, Marjorie Otto, was still alive. Not only alive, but thriving and eager to talk with me.   
  
Known as MomMom by the family, I say that meeting her was a blessing because she was so open with me. When she [passed away in February](https://www.kempffuneralhome.com/obituaries/Marjorie-Ellen-Otto?obId=47182650&ref=adoptingfatherhood.com), gratitude filled my heart because we had shared so much time together the proceeding eight years.   
  
Rather than try recounting all of the stories in one post, I thought it would be best to start with the remarks I made at her memorial:   
  
*I have no idea what MomMom and I talked about on our first phone call.* 

*It was a few days after I learned that her son, and my father,* [*Bill had died*](https://www.adoptingfatherhood.com/its-been-almost-a-year-since-my-birth-father-died-im-still-grieving/)*. I was in Atlanta for a conference that I almost didn't attend, but my wife Gladys knows me well and encouraged me to go anyway. We both know that sometimes I just need time alone to process what is happening in my life.* 

*The Thursday of the conference, I called MomMom. Hearing her voice for the first time, full of love and concern for me was beyond surreal. After an hour, we hung up and I sat staring out the window, soaking in the feeling of having a grandmother to talk with again and wondering how you develop relationships with family you've never known.* 

*MomMom made growing a relationship easy. That first phone call became every other week phone call. Some were quite short, especially if she thought I was driving. Most of the time, we would be on the phone for at least an hour, talking about everything from the books we were reading to some of the nagging questions about the past we both needed answered.* 

*That first call led to my first visit, and a hug I had waited a lifetime to receive. My mind and body were so full of anxiety that day that I was quite late. That hug and her patience allayed those fears.* 

*I am thankful I had time with her to see her patience, her sense of humor, her love of funny socks, and the deeply held affection she had for her sons, daughters-in-law, grandkids, great-grands, nieces, nephews, cousins and the friends she collected from around the country.* 

*I am thankful I was able to read her writing, to hear her stories of growing up just north of here on the farm in Bellevue, and to share several meals at Clara's with her.*

*I am thankful that I could feel those hugs, watch her do crafts with my daughter, and even share the German chocolate cake I made from the recipe that is in the family history book she wrote. She gracefully ate some of the cake, despite the overcooked frosting that ended up resembling Magic Shell.* 

*Most of all, I am thankful God gave me eight years to enjoy with my grandmother.* 

*Knowing that she had a deep faith in God and his providence, I thought I would leave you with the prayer she prayed with Gladys, Abby and I the last visit we had with her as a family.* 

*It is the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, otherwise known as the Prayer for Peace.* 

*Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:* 

*Where there is hatred, let me sow love;*

*Where there is injury, pardon;* 

*Where there is doubt, faith;* 

*Where there is despair, light;* 

*Where there is sadness, joy.* 

*O divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,* 

*To be understood as to understand,* 

*To be loved as to love.* 

*For it is in the giving that we receive,* 

*It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,* 

*And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.* 

*Amen.*