Adopting Fatherhood

Tonight, The Kid and I were playing in the yard of our apartment building. We started walking along the back of the building for a change of scenery, and a guy living on the 10th floor of the neighboring building decided to throw open his window to empty the contents of a Ziplock bag outside. I muttered, "That's classy." My polite daughter yelled, "Hi Classy!" and started waving. I have a feeling I know what Classy muttered, but we didn't stick around long enough to hear it all. I suppose it is time I start watching what I say around The Kid.

Please do not disturb the Peppa Pig fan.  "Papa! Wakey wake! Max and Ruby on." Those were the first words I heard when I woke up this morning. As I staggered to our living room, The Kid said, "Max and Ruby on!" a few more times. I couldn't figure out why she was so emphatic about me seeing this particular cartoon, because it isn't one of her favorites. I turned the corner to the living room, and Gladys had Headline News on, not Max and Ruby. That's when The Kid pointed to the television and yelled, "MAX AND RUBY ON!" Max and Ruby was not on because she was misbehaving, and she was hoping that Papa would give her what she wanted when Mama would not. Much to her chagrin, Papa backed Mama. At least now we are sure that our daughter is a perfectly normal two-year old. And I'll be watching this episode of fatherhood a lot in the years to come.

Sometimes it is better to just get thoughts out on paper, or in this case, on my blog, even when they are not fully developed. This is one of those times. Here are some of the random observations I've made lately: Every kid grows differently, and disproportionately. The Kid, and her hands, are no exception. The Kid loves snuggling after a bath, and I love snuggling with her, but I'm always nervous that the only thing standing between me and a bunch of urine is a towel.  She still mixes up Mama and Papa when she's excited, and I find the MaPa combination to be incredibly cute. My friend Max says he doesn't think the "terrible twos" are all that terrible, mostly because it is exciting to watch children develop independence. I want to agree with him, but I do struggle with the concept when she's half-dressed and planking while I'm running late to work.  The Kid's favorite sentence in the world is, "I did it!" We still argue the...

When you talk with new parents, they always talk about how exhausting the first few months of their child's life was, and reverently talk about the first night their child slept through the night. We never experienced that, because The Kid was already eight-months old and sleeping through the night when we first met her. What we are experiencing now are the sleepless nights no one warns you about, those that happen when your two-year old discovers they can get out of bed whenever they want to and wander over to your bedroom. A few days after my mom was watching The Kid for us on date night, and our daughter demonstrated to Grandma that she knew exactly how to get out of the crib, we decided it was time to change her crib to a grown-up-girl bed. We didn't want her to get hurt by tossing herself over the side of the crib, so off came the side of the crib and up went the bed rail. Sleep and I are not always on good terms anyway, but The Kid's new-found freedom has comp...

Gladys and I occasionally field questions from friends curious about adopting. They are questions we welcome, because there are a lot of places people can get started and not many places where people are forthcoming with answers. Here are some of the common ones we hear.  1. Why did you adopt through the foster care system?  The first answer is cost. We heard horror stories of how much privately arranged adoptions could be, and we decided that wouldn't work for us. Our costs were for fingerprinting, court filing fees and extra copies of The Kid's new birth certificate. All told, the direct financial costs were under $300.  The second answer is we felt it was the right thing for us to do. There are plenty of kids in metro Detroit that need a home, and according to MARE , there are approximately 3,000 kids available for adoption each year in Michigan. I've also wondered out loud why people are inclined to adopt internationally over adopting locally , just in cas...

There is more to the hair debate than just white women wanting to touch my daughter's hair . And no, it's not just tousling her hair, it's the full-on groping that I am leery of. Three pieces of content have resonated with me lately. An article about the scrutiny Beyonce and Jay Z have found themselves under over Blue Ivy's hair caught my eye. It reminded me of the day The Kid came home from daycare with ponytails in her hair for the first time. I was upset because I took it as an employee at daycare thought we didn't know how to take care of our kid. After reading this, and many other articles about the reaction to natural hair on a black kid, I'm inclined to think I was right in my assessment. Anyway, Americans of all races are oddly fascinated by the hair of a black woman. This video series is a fascinating look at the reactions of people to a film project aimed at letting people touch the hair of black women. If you are new to the discussion, take the t...

Nick Jr. has really ticked me off lately. They started messing with their morning lineup, and now I can't watch Little Bill before work anymore. And I'd much rather have Ni Hao Ki-lan or The Fresh Beat Band on the television than Max and Ruby. Regardless of what's on, starting Friday mornings, they promote the daylights out of their NickMom project. I've tried watching a few of the programs to get what the deal is, and I don't understand how the vapid comedy displayed on Parental Discretion with Stefanie Wilder-Taylor stays on the air.  Sadly, the show is better than Take Me To Your Mother, which is borderline offensive because of her premise that she's an accidental mother who doesn't want to raise a jerk. First of all, how do you accidentally become a mother? Or do the show's producers think we're all rubes? On the subject of jerks, do boys automatically come out of the womb as a jerk? Also she's very clearly bothered that her son is a ...